Sunshine Days

Date: 28/09/2011

Time: 11:31pm

I was so happy today the sun finally came back out! All these rainy days in springtime can really bring a person’s mood down but today as soon as I walked out the front door and into the afternoon sun, mate I felt so great!

Got to talk to my trainer again and told the wonderful news of having an exact date to my op and you know what he tells me? He reckons I can atleast loose another 4 kilo’s before e then, oh that would be so awesome. Though that probably means he is going to be a hard ass on me again, I can’t wait to get back on the treadmill though, I have to admit it’s my favourite piece of gym equipment there lol.

After that I was going to go to the local library to return a DVD I borrowed a few weeks ago that is now overdue only to find I had left it at home on my chest of draws T_T which means fingers cross let’s hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow and I can walk up there and return it.

After that I had to buy a new another new usb, it really sucks that my external hard drive is unworkable at the moment but hopefully by the end of the week I will have the last of the files I lost.

But here’s the coolest news of the day, I went to Perth today which I love love to do on a sunny day but instead of heading to hey street where all the comic shops are I went the other way towards the library and museum, I’m now an official member of the state library of western Australia, they have so many awesome books! Oh I just feel so happy when I’m in a library I cannot wait till the day I get to work in one!

I finally got a hold of a book I’ve been wanting to read for months there that I finally found! The book is called Sects, Cults and Spiritual Communities: A Sociological Analysis. It’s a collection of really well written essays on the sociological aspects of the some of the world’s most well-known cults including Heaven’s Gate, The Family and even Scientology! It’s perfect research material for the novel I have been working on.

Yeah I love to write as well as becoming a librarian and eventually learning how to restore old books, I hope one day to have a novel published but first I got to finish the story of course!

It’s been while

Hey Blogger I’m back, sorry for stopping the daily posts but nothing’s really been happening for a while now, there has been nothing really to talk about other than the same stuff.

Been doing a lot of reading lately though, even went to the state library in Perth to help with research on my novel I’ve been working on, maybe when I have the first draft finished I could post some extracts and maybe get some feedback, I don’t know maybe.

It’s past the 25^th now so the internet is back up to normal speed, so I’ve been watching anime on Anime Avenue, finally seen nearly all of panty and stocking with garterbelt, have to admit I would love to do a stocking cosplay one day, the sailor outfit she wore in the ep Catfight was pretty hot.

I’ve also been organizing things to have a picnic with my friends in Fremantle before my op got that all going on Facebook at the moment, should be a fun day.

Wow this entry has a real melancholy feel, but that’s how I’ve been feeling I suppose. Only time I’ve been happy as in big smile on my face and laughing has been when I’ve either been watching anime or talking to my beloved.

Maybe I’m depressed a little I don’t know, should be getting things sorted tomorrow so I can go back the gym looking forward to that atleast. Oh yeah I also saw a movie with mum on Sunday.

We went to see ‘the Help’ I don’t normally like chick flicks but I really wanted to see this one and wasn’t disappointed either, it’s really funny, though some scenes made me angry, the amount of racism around in the time, it made me feel disgusted to be white you know?

Nothing much to do...

Date:  20/09/2011

Time:  11:02pm

One fortnight of not going to the gym and somewhat slacking on my exercise and I have put on almost five kilo’s, I’m so pissed at myself. It’s all this sleeping and eating, when my anxiety gets bad I eat more than I should, even though I know I shouldn’t.

So starting tomorrow I’m going to try for as much exercise as I can manage, I’ve got the batteries n charge for my Wii fit board as I type this, damn this rain I can’t go for my walks at the moment. Though that’s not really an excuse because well the rain didn’t start till last Thursday.

Well atleast this Thursday I get my payment though, I cannot wait till I no longer have to deal with centrelink. I mean they are there to help and all but the appointments are so inconvenient.

At least I got a lot of housework done today so that was a good thing, even though I hurt my back this morning while unloading the dishwasher, not the most pleasant experience, I was in a rush and didn’t bend properly and paid for it for a whole forty five minutes, praise be to the one that invented Cold Gel.

I also had to make a phone call for another doctor’s appointment this morning, this one to the anisethiest (wow I so spelled that wrong and even spellcheck can’t help me, yeah I type these entries up on word first, it’s easier to edit this way). So yeah I got another upcoming doctor’s appointment to get ready for this surgery.

I was actually kind of worried I wouldn’t be able to post on here today, earlier the net was running so slow it timed out while loading Google. Turns out it was my brother’s new Xbox live game Gears of War 3 that may have been the culprit for that one. Looks like this going to be another short post I’m afraid, things aren’t really that interesting today.

Heading into Perth tomorrow though weather permitting, thinking of visiting the West Australian Museum and the big Library in Perth as well, two places I absolutely adore!

Just a small Entry today

Date: 19/09/2011

Time: 8:51pm

Today was a slow day that started late once again, way to go to myself I have to say…two days in a row of sleeping in past noon. Not a habit I like getting into, I’m not saying I’m not a morning person but I seem to get more done in a day if I wake up before 8am.

Got a fair amount of housework done today atleast all the dishes are clean and washing is all up to date and the cats have fresh litter which has them happy, well most of them. Also while doing this I watched some of the Emmy’s on Foxtel which we recorded so we can watch later as well.

Only got to see the opening number and the comedy and reality portions so far, Jane Lynch was sooo cool and the dresses she wore that I saw were really pretty. I cannot believe Modern Family won so many awards, I mean it’s not even funny its just stupid, like that show the Office. All these new comedy shows are just sooo bad! Well there is one new one I like and it got the award for best lead actor in a comedy series Big Bang Theory! That is actually funny, I love the character Sheldon in it so much I named a Pikachu in my Pokémon game after him >_<.

Earlier this evening I was sitting in my room playing Animal Crossing Lets go to the City once again (yeah can you tell from these entries that I love this game? It’s really addictive) anyway I’m sitting there looking at the flag I have outside my ‘mansion’ on their cause I am now mortgage free and I’m looking over at my bookshelf and I think most of these shelves after my op during recovery I won’t be able to reach. So I started dumping things on my bed, after saving my game of cause, I don’t want another visit from Resetti.

After I finish posting here I’m going to go back and finish the job, I am very easily distracted at times that’s why I do stuff like this at night. I also thought I should maybe make a list of things I need to get and get ready for post op….

A Quiet Sunday

Date: 18/09/2011

Time: 10:54

Today started later than usual, for a Sunday. I had one of those woke up twice kind of days. I believe it must have been around 9 I woke up the first time, to the sound of rain on the paved ground outside my bedroom window. My first thought at this way it’s too damn cold to wake up, but it seemed this morning I was paying for the four cups of tea last night.

After getting up and dealing with said morning issue I decided to climb back in bed with my waiting cat Kane. He looked somewhat annoyed that I had left the bed and immediately started pressing his paws into my side purring, we have come to call this act the ‘kitty march’. All our cats do this little act when happy and it is the main reason why I have brought it upon myself to regularly clip and file there claws.

I fell back to sleep pretty fast and did not awake again till early afternoon, it had just gone 1pm. After my morning cup of tea and bowel of porridge with strawberries and honey (I usually have scrambled egg whites for breaky on Sunday but all our eggs were off!) I decided to make plans for what I was going to have for dinner in the evening and took out a portion of chicken breast which I kept in the bag in luke warm water to defrost before placing it in a container with fresh lemon juice, chilli flakes and parsley to marinade.

The rest of the day was spent watching TV with mum; talking with dad about plans for the side garden next weekend as we couldn’t do anything today due to the weather (we even had hail stones in one downpour! I honestly cannot remember the last time I saw hail).

The garden on the side of the house is where my currently somewhat barren vegie patch is, at the moment all I have is some late season leeks waiting to be picked, a small amount of oregano, a pitiful little basil plant with little white flowers and a catnip plant that is going crazy and needs to be trimmed and gathered once a fortnight.

In the evening I watched an investigative report on Sunday night about an Australian cult leader who believes he is Jesus, I cannot stand cults and their so called leaders they can be so pathetic, the only thing worse than being weak is preying on the weak, something I’ve always kind of believed.

Looking forward to watching two things tomorrow, the day time Emmy’s because it’s being hosted by Jane Lynch who is sooo awesome! And the WWE main event in the evening with mum, Night of Champions looks to be interesting I just really hope John Cena doesn’t win the belt back, I can’t stand the guy >_<

The bad back days

The plan had been you see to keep myself busy this weekend to keep my mind of the tinge of anxiety still there at the back of my mind. This is worse kind of anxiety for me, that little bit at the back of my mind, it seems it at times like these I seem to have more panic attacks than others.

As I mentioned I had two while at the surgeon’s office on Wednesday, didn’t need to worry about this today however, no today was one of those days that happens every so often and can be a real pain quite literally. Today was what both my mum and I refer to as a ‘Bad Back Day’

These days are always started the same as usual, I awake quite suddenly with a sharp pain somewhere in either my back or shoulders, today it was my shoulders. I wasn’t even sure if mum was still home this morning when I awoke the second time, I had earlier in the morning due to it being Saturday chosen to roll back over once I awakened the first time and catch a few more zz’s, at this point there was a dull numb in my shoulders which I chose to ignore.

When I awoke the second time my left shoulder, the side I had been sleeping upon, was in a fair amount of pain, on a scale of 1 to 10 this morning it would have been between a 7 and an 8.5, as I said I wasn’t sure if mum was home so I reached for my mobile phone which I always keep by my bedside when I sleep and I dialled her mobile number.

She picked up fairly quickly and I told her I couldn’t move and needed help, she was soon in my room which I was very relieved for knowing she was not out and helped me up, after asking if I was ok and I telling her yeah just feeling very stiff, I turned to my cat sitting in my bed who was looking at me with worry like he always does, I smiled and I swear his volume of purring went up tenfold.

I spent the morning sitting in bed after that playing animal crossing: Let’s go to the city! (I have to make the note to myself now to check my game after posting this, I want to know if I won today’s bug catching contest)

After lunch which was a turkey wrap from subway yum! I had a shower and spent a large portion of today playing my DSi between three games, Chessmaster, Pokémon Pearl Version and Kingdom Hearts Decoded. I also spent a fair amount of time with my niece today though she seemed to enjoy pressing my boundaries, she insisted on feeding me McDonald nuggets yuk!

The evening was spent thus far with my mum at my sisters again as I was doing them a favour and staying at the house with my sleeping niece as my mum picked my sister at work, for the rest of the evening, I look forward to spending it with good company and reading fanfics accompanied by a hot cup of tea every few hours before I head to bed.

Even though it was  painful start and though that pain is still there slowly numbing I have tried my hardest to make good of this bad situation, my mum has taught me through this hard time to take every day as it comes and I am learning more from my mum more and more each day it seems.

Bleh...

Date 16/09/2011
Time 11:47pm

Woke up earlier than expected this morning, feeling well the best way to descibe it would have been feverish. My stomach felt heavy and my head was spinning with anxiety of coming to grips with the news I recieved in a half asleep stuper yesterday.

Truth be told i could hardly sleep Wednseday night, my mind just would not settle, it has been rare these last few years visiting the plastic surgeons, that i had ever been given good news, so I suppose I had out phsyced myself into expecting bad news. It was a good thing mum was with me yesterday she got all the info we needed. Though I wish I hadnt had two panic attacks while at the surgeons office yesterday.

When I woke this mornign my anxiety levels were still pretty high which most likely explained the fever I thought I felt and the vomit going down the drain during my first shower for the day. I spent alot of time today just sitting in thought and letting the news of everything just was over me.

Truth be told I dont know how to feel, yes this is good news but my mind isn't at the ease I was hoping it was at, I'm overloaded with infomation by this point perhaps even wishing I had the bliss that is ignorance in this point of time.

The rest of the day after my shower this morning went fairly peaceful, I spent the morning sitting in bed, my cat cuddled into my side snoring most likely because of the rain outside. He sat there snoring while i played animal crossing before falling into the routine of watching doctor phil at lunch time.

During the adds i made myself some lunch just a light salad the way my stomach was feeling i wouldnt be able to each much more that was accumpanied by a glass of water.

I did get a most decatant surprise when i came online earlier in the afternoon, a fellow orochimaru fan on a yaoi art site had taken my request for a certain pice of artwork it most certainly did not disapoint, most definatly the highlight of the day.

In the evening I visited my sister and neice with my mum and was able to sit in the bathtub at her house and soak while reading a really bad vampire paper back novel i cannot seem to put down.

All and all not an overly exciting or bad day, I could have gone without the anxiety, hoping to keep myself busy over the weekend.